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How to Buy Sexy Toys

12/27/2013

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With the launch of BurlyQU.com on the full moon of December 2013, there has been a splendid interest and talk about the blow job class, the make up and hair tips class and Bubbles on Fire Burlesque and Variety Shows.  

Thad Gann, one of our favorite photographers, who kindly takes photos of us ladies who love to reveal our bodies, generously captivates us in a positive sense to bare all before the lens.  

We need to dance, ecstatically, like i need Body & Soul from NYC.  I miss the pure bliss energetic vibe.  it was essence, sweat, good energy, love, light, and commitment to dance and bounce, heal and love, hug and hold, kiss and connect.  

Today I received my discount in the mail from Adam & Eve dot com. They sent me a post card of a $112.80 goodie bag.  

I need a burning man bliss experience. 

Back to the porn toys... I'm going there right now... but just to let you know, I bought a 100% purity vodka tonight in a diamond shaped bottle that is rocking my panties off as the cocktail is laced with honey and almond milk, ice and crystal glasses.

I want to buy some hard-core dildos and give them away in my raffle bags.  I love my fans, you are amazing!  They worship these dancers and it's so gratifying to see these hot men drool after these sexy ladies and I love giving them a stage!

Questions: do I buy lingerie, sexy toys, vibrators, or games?  Lube, batteries, stockings? Let's see what they have...

I bought the Dallas Cheerleader pasties, bra and stocking set, a double anal/vag vibrator and I got a 5 piece vibrating dildo set, which I will use and give away.

I'll tell you how it goes when it's been through me.
xox
Candy Pie

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America's Got Tease is Tonight!

8/31/2013

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I'm excited for tonight.  I have to admit, that I was supposed to be at Burning Man right now, but when the Hemlock Tavern asked me to do a show this weekend, I was relieved that I could be productive while not being in the desert.  I do miss the burn, incredibly, because I have friends I only see once a year out there, and this year, we miss each other.

However, I have burlesque.  I have a following, and fans and I've created a really fierce show.  We have sold a few pre-sale and every performer has friends and fans coming.  We even have new comers stopping by to see what burlesque and vaudeville is all about.

I have worked with every performer before, and the show only had one cancellation, which is normal, and we replaced her immediately.  And the poster above reflects this, but the ones I have printed do not.  Such is life with the give and take.  I love burlesque, performing, costuming, and producing.  I love getting venues and stages for people to showcase our art. 

Tonight there are 4 producers in our show: Dottie Lux, Suzil Von Schtupt, Red Velvet and A Randy Johnson.  At the All Male Revue, I had a few producers as well:  Eva D'Luscious, Randy and Fou Fou Ha and the Bohemian Brethren who will have an up and coming male show which I will be front and center for.  What I'm working up to here is an all producer performing show.  At Mad Women's show, we had Hunny Bunny, and myself as performing producers.  It's really cool actually that all these dancers produce and saturate the Bay Area with excellent talented people who love our art as much as I do.

I left hooping, though I'm still a huge part of it and legally am still in charge of World Hoop Day.  I got into because I dated a man who was really, really into it and I like and enjoy it still.  I love fire hooping and LED hooping, however daily hooping has taken a vacation from my schedule and I hoop when I'm amped up and/or have back pain to relieve that hurt from my body.  It works.  It's awesome.  I would be teaching it now at the Burn, along with Burlesque classes, but again, I'm here now.

Today I'm going to see One Eyed King at FuckFest IV in the dogpatch district wearing red for Labor Day and passing out posters, with the incentive to bring it back tonight and get a free raffle ticket!

Which reminds me, I need to post up the raffle prizes:
  1. a Red, White & Blue hula hoop
  2. perhaps another Randy Johnson hug (it went down really well at the all male revue!)
  3. a burlesque sexy package, which includes:
  • a really cool, travel make-up case
  • black ribbon
  • 2 packages of iconic rhinestone hair jewels
  • 4 condoms inside a Thai elephant baggie
  • a blue high heel tape dispenser
  • a travel pack of Barbie tissues
  • a green orchid comb fascinator
  • a hot pink Las Vegas flask
  • silver sequins tassel pasties
  • a sexy purple teddy with garters and stockings

Oh yeah, I'm pshyched.  See you there!
xo
Candy   

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Review of All Male Revue by Cookie Wolf

8/26/2013

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By Cookie Wolf
August 23 at 4:49pm · 
Saturday Night: After a lovely day running around SF with Sir Howard (highlights included checking out the great costume sale from The Looking Glass Costumes at DNA and sampling the delicious wares at SoMa StrEat Food Park, like a Four Barrel Coffee sundae with burnt caramel sauce and chocolate sprinkles from Frozen Kuhsterd and and breakfast cereal flavored cotton candy from Sugar and Spun both mindblowingly good, and visits to our friends at Modernbook Gallery and PhotoboothSF ), and a tasty dinner at The American Grilled Cheese Kitchen it was time for some delicious debauchery at Mojo Theater with Bubbles On Fire's big All Male Burly Q Revue show! 

I knew we were in for an experience when the gentleman working the door drew balls on our hands in lieu of a stamp! There were not one, not two, but three bachelorette parties in attendance, and the brides to be got some up close and personal attention after they arm wrestled (on the back of Pastie maker to the Stars, Randy Johnson's back, no less!) for the comfy seat right in front of all the action! The delectable duo of JD Limelight and Mee Zee (2/3rds of Mutual Admiration Society - MAS my favorite confusing and arousing performance artists) got us warmed up as a menacing loan shark and Dr. Noid, his hapless victim, who was compelled to work off his debt by displaying his considerable charms (including a seductive garter belt and stocking combo, me-ow!). 

The aptly named Randy Johnson displayed his tanned and toned flesh as he performed his own special rendition of Sweet Transvestite (it's never the same one twice!) as well as his own set of garters and stockings (Too much is never enough! *purr*)! The luscious, leather pants clad Joe Fiddle-Hooper drove me wild with a performance the likes of which I'd never seen, a blistering rendition of Devil Went Down to Georgia on the fiddle WHILE hula hooping the entire time! Whew! We had another musical guest in the form of the suave Pat de Copp (twin brother of Patina de Copper), looking very dapper his fine suit and regaling us with a smooth rendition of Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Baby on the trumpet, giving us that touch of class! The sultry Shakey Gibson steamed things up as a sensuous snake charmer (snake provided by Puppetopolis) who got us all hot and bothered! 


The always thrilling Bohemian Brethren brought the house down with their sizzling hot dance moves, one of their hottest performances yet! Will Longfellow got down and dirty as the sexiest garbageman I've ever seen, he had us all howling with his big reveal and wet and wild finish! Lord loves a working man, indeed! The brain meltingly hot Xzist had me shrieking with his incredible acrobatic break dance moves (my weakness!) and his gorgeously lithe form! I was so glad I got to switch seats and be front and center for that hot action! For the grand finale, we had Fou Manchu, a contingent of Fou Fou Ha the Bay Area's very own burlesque clown troupe, and Oh. My. God!!! I never thought I'd find the sight of three clowns dressed as angry businessmen and miming auto erotic asphyxiation (among other things) sexy, but they managed to do it! Or else I'm just a freak. But enough about that, they were damn hot!

In addition to all this delicious debauchery, there was a raffle with prized such as a sparkly hula hoop, a hug from Randy Johnson (he really turned it into a full body experience for the lucky winner, let me tell you!) and a gift bag filled with all manner of sexy accouterments, like pink silk nighties and pasties and rhinestones, oh my (I won that one!)! What a show! Many thanks to our gorgeous and hilarious Barefoot Contessa MC, Eva D' Luscious, Sexy Stage Python Blue Balls Buck, Candy Pie for organizing this divine madness, the amazing performers, and every other person who helped put together such an fabulous night! I want more, more more! 

Quote of the Night:

"What?! There's no naked men up here! It's all a pack of lies!" - Me (as Sir Howard and I and a group of young women navigated the dark spooky staircase looking for the room where the show was)!
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Promoting Your Event

7/26/2013

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PictureDottie Lux, producer of Red Hots Burlesque, stars in Burlesque and Why!
I was asked to help promote Burlesque and WHY? A theatre production that goes beyond the bump and grind and gets to the nitty, gritty facts behind a group of dancers who reveal their inner workings and reasons to their dance.  From their website, "The average American conjectures many reasons why a woman takes her clothes off on stage, but rarely gets the opportunity to ask her. In Red Hots Burlesque’s first stage show Burlesque and Why!, an intimate cast of Red Hots’ star performers will get even closer to you with a behind-the-curtain storytelling stage show. Over the first weekend in August this cast of diverse women will bare their stories, addressing the gamut of sex work, body image, sexualization and more."

PictureTrixie Fou Laurent in Mad Women. Photo by Jeff LaPierre.
You may be wondering why I'm promoting another production.  I have a bachelors degree in marketing, international trade to be exact, with an emphasis on fashion.  I marketed our Mad Women show at the Mojo Theatre like crazy and the show was fantastic!  You can see some photos here.

Anyway, my friend Dottie, asked for some help and I think it would be important to share with you as well, what I shared with them.  I've been re-learning marketing for the internet world.  When I got my degree, the web was just taking off and Amazon was only a jungle in South America.

Here's some of the best tips I gave her and some links to study further if you wish to delve deeper into the marketing world.  Now I'm giving it away... but if you want to send me something in exchange for this info, I would great appreciate it if you bought tickets to our next show: The All Male Revue!
Buy tickets here! 

First, ask yourself these questions.
  1. How much time do you have a day to spend on average and are there any others days where you have more time?
  2. How much money is in the ad budget?
  3. Where do you spend ad money?
  4. Are the performers all available during one of this weekend's days to gorilla market on embarcadero to height to mission?

Now get busy.
  • Edit the event every day.
  • Give tickets away.... Friday promo.... Free pasties for anyone who buys a ticket, free fascinator, free ticket to Friday show. Etc.
  • Get on the radio.
  • Shoot a commercial. Get all the performers to upload 20-60 Second video of relatable topic info.
  • Use keywords. New. Never been seen before. Groundbreaking.  Thought provoking. Inspired by.... Sensational. 
  • Put quotes up daily.  A different quote from a different performer daily. Open the PR zone with one person's quote and end with another.... The PR zone is 1-4pm for facebook and different times for others coming soon.
  • Get on squids list.
  • Contact the arts editor of The papers. 
  • Street team flyer the neighborhood 3-4 nights before and post up in and on the building.

Websites
  • Acquia
  • Bizo
  • Hubspot
  • Marketing
  • Marketo
  • Mashable

If you have any specific questions or want some special advice, feel free to post your comments and questions below.

May your days be bubbly and your nights be on fire!
xxx,
Candy



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    Bubbles On Fire Burlesque

    We are a group of dancers, entrepreneurs, costumers and exhibitionists performing all around the San Francisco Bay Area.

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